The First Rule of Pophood

Every community starts somewhere. This is where we start.

The first rule of Pophood:

Don't be an asshole.

What This Isn't

This isn't Reddit.

I love Reddit for a lot of things. But if you've spent time in parenting subreddits, you know the deal. Someone asks a genuine question and gets buried under judgment. "Why would you even do that?" "That's terrible parenting." Some dude who's been a dad for eight months feels qualified to tear apart a veteran father of three.

All for karma. Points. Validation. We're not doing that here. (There's more on why Reddit isn't the answer).

This also isn't Stack Overflow.

Stack Overflow is incredible for developers. But it's famously cold. Ask a question that someone asked three years ago? "Marked as duplicate." Phrase something slightly wrong? Downvoted into oblivion. Newcomers get treated like idiots for not knowing what they don't know.

Parenting isn't coding. Every kid is different. Every family is different. A question that sounds like something you've heard before might come from a completely different situation. And even if it doesn't, so what? A tired dad at 2 AM doesn't need to search through archives. He needs help.

We're building something different here.

What This Is

This is a space where dads help dads.

Where you can ask a dumb question and not get roasted for it. Where you can admit you don't know what you're doing. Where you can share a story about screwing up without someone in the comments making you feel worse than you already do.

Because that's what we're here for. Not to compete. Not to dunk on each other. Not to prove we're better dads than the next guy.

We're all in this together. The guy in The Trenches asking for help with his toddler's meltdowns? He's on your team. The pop who posted a story about his marriage falling apart? He's on your team. The nervous first-time dad who doesn't know how to hold a bottle right? He's on your team too.

And you don't score points by making your teammates feel small.

Before you post, ask yourself: would I say this to a close friend who's struggling? If not, simply don't hit submit.

The Culture We're Building

I want Pophood to be the place where dads feel safe to be honest. Where you can admit that last night you lost your temper. Where you can say you're scared. Where you can ask for help without feeling weak.

That only works if we're good to each other.

Not fake nice. Not performative positivity. I'm not asking you to sugarcoat things or avoid hard truths. Sometimes a pop needs to hear something he doesn't want to hear. That's fine. That's helpful.

But there's a difference between being honest and being an asshole. You know the difference. We all do.

So remember the first rule of Pophood. The only rule that really matters.

Now let's go build something together.